You are still a good mom!
Last night I did all the things they said I should do. I gave them a bath, I let them have some quiet play time, I let them get the wiggles out, I read them a book, I tucked them, I said I love you, I gave them each a kiss on the forehead. I gave them a little speech about going to be bed and no goofing around. The said they wouldn't. They said they would just go to sleep and be good.
Well friends, I'm sure you can guess what my 6 year and 3 year old did last night after I shut the door to their room. Yep, thats right they had a party! They were giggling, laughing, jumping in there bed. Running around from room to room. All of the things expect going to sleep.
Where was I? I was downstairs listening to some relaxing music while trying to do yoga. I had a mirgraine for most of the weekend and I just need some time to relax and stretch out my body. A time to just have some peace. My peace and time was intreruppted my loud laughter and stomps so loud I thought they would fall through the celling. Basically the opposite of relaxing, however I tried to push through and ignore them. I hoped they would settle down.
They didn't. Their dad interpreted their fun twice, which in return interrupted my peace.
My peace was now being clouded with frustration, and then the tears started coming.
Tears of frustration. Tears of feeling like I can't keep dealing with this. Tears of feeling like a failure. I mean according to the books I did everything right, yet they still didn't go to sleep.
What was wrong with me? Why can't I figure this out?
Society has painted this picture of motherhood that makes you feel like everyone stage of this journey is suppose to be filled with happiness and when you're not then you are a bad mom!
The truth is your a mom that has feelings. A mom that doesn't always get it right and that can be hard. A mom that sometimes just needs a break. A mom that is overwhelmed.
No matter what category you fall into, you are still a good mom! Just like my night past and I woke up to happy kids. Your moment will pass too.
So I'm chucking up last night as a shitty night that will hopefully be better tonight.
Heres to all the mamas who are dusting themselves off and trying again today!
You got this girl!