Where Are My Introverted Moms At?
Where are my girls at
From the front to back
Well is you feelin' that
Put one hand up....
Ok so for starters if you can finish those lyrics we are AUTOMATICALLY best frands!! If can't and have no idea what I'm talking, google it and have a little dance party.
So here's the scoop, I’ve always been an introvert and pretty shy. Growing up as an army brat made it really hard for me to come out of my shell. Moving every 3 years during my childhood didn’t leave too much room for me to develop friendship and get out of my shyness. By time i was in junior high i was exhasuted from introducting myself to others so I didn’t I had a very small group of friends in high school and the same remains today.
However it was until I had kids that I realized how much of an introvert I trule was.
Before we go any further I wanted to share with you all what an introvert actually is.
According to wikipedia people who are introverted tend to be inward turning, or focused more on internal thoughts, feelings and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation.
So basically you're like a mini hermit that thrives on me time! Well kinda! Still not sure. Check out this little "you know you are introvert if... from Psychology today.
1.You enjoy having time by yourself
2.Your best thinking occurs when you are by yourself
3.You lead best when others are self starters
4.You’re the last to raise your hand when someone ask for something from a group
5.Other people ask you for your opinion
6.You often wear headphones when in public situations
7.You prefer to not engage with people who seem angry or upset
8.You receive more calls, text, emails than you make
9.You don’t intiate small talk with salespeople or people you have causal contact with
Alright so I pretty much check all of those boxes but like I said I didn’t really realize how much of an introvert I was until I had kids, especially when that started talking. I realized how much time I actually need alone and I needed alot.
My previous job was set up for me to have one day a week off so I got plenlty of alone time on that day. It was the perfect day for me to recharge, run errands, bascially do whatever i wanted.
But when I became a stay at home mom and summer break hit I started to feel very overwhelemd. It was the the noise, the chaos, the yelling, the jumping up and down the constant questions that made me feel like I wanted to jump out of skin. Like whoa I can’t do this…. I can’t handle this. I can’t do this everyday. This is too much. I need some quiet time. I need some alone time. Why can’t I find any alone anymore. My cravings for alone time started to become more and more increasingly necessary.
The shitty part is I started to feel guilty about not wanting to be around kids. I choose to stay at home with them. I could have easily found another job but I wanted a chance to be at home with them and now I’m like send me back to the office please!!
I kinda felt ashame and I didn’t know why I couldn’t figure it out. I didn’t realize how much my children would drain me and it started to affect my mental health. I would be short with kids, I would want to isolate myself. I would lack alot of energy and just doing the simplest things felt exhausting. So I had to get out of this funk and it started with communication… I mean what doesn’t start with communication..right?
So I talked to my husband and said "Yo I need you all to get out of the house. I don’t care where you go, what you do, but you are not allowed to come back for 3 hours."
And because my husband is so awesome and loving he said fine.
I got my time and it was blissful!!! I think I just sat on the couch and watched top chef while drinking wine that day. Talk about a full recharge. And when they got home I was ready to see them I had energy for my kids. I was charged.
Ready to go!
So here are some things that I have done to help me be a happy and charged up Introverted mom
Ways to deal with being an introverted Mom
Embrace your introvertness….I think that the world could use alot of introverts. We have some amazing superpowers and one of them is being the backbone of a lot of operations. Things don’t function without our support with us working in the background.
Don’t isolate yourself...it’s so tempting to do this because yes we thrive and get our energy during alone time. However we also value and understand how important deep relationships are. We thrive off of deep conversations being able to listen to others is our superpower we need that just as much as alone time. So push yourself out the door and connect with a friend, go on that playdate with another mom, etc.
Get your alone time… I know kinda of the oppisite of number one but its also just as important. The way the extroverts gets their energy is beign aroudn people they love it. The way introverts get their energy is beign alone. It can be a little challenge to do this but even if its 10 mins in the morning or taking a few breathes in your care before your pick up the kids. Get some time alone to recharge. You need this! This is not about being selfish….so no feeling guitlt about this one.
Its self care!