• Monica

The Low Down on Dating, Marriage and Children: How to Keep Dating Your Spouse

Before you scroll down to the bottom just to get the tips let me start off by saying I have no fricken clue what I’m doing when it comes to marriage.

Ok there I said it!

But…...if there is one thing that I know that has made me a happier married woman it's been actively dating my husband.

You see dating him is what got me the ring at 6 months

Dating him is what got me my dream wedding

Dating him is what got me knocked up...oh and dating him is what got me knocked up again

So why I stop dating him if allllll of these amazing things happen while dating him. I think you know the answer to that question. Life… Life is what got in the way. Two kids, a home, three jobs, side hustles, school, arguments about dishwashers, ear infections, play dates, sleepovers, arguments about laundry… oh you know the list goes on. That’s the shit that got in the way and sometimes the shit that keeps getting in our way. But more often than we move alllllllll that shit over do the following to keep/slash sometimes bring the sexy back in this marriage.

Below you will find my 5 secrets for dating your spouse

  1. Put it on your calendar… listen I don’t know about you but these days nothing gets done in my life unless its on the calendar. And not just one calendar but 2,3,4 calendars to make sure I know what’s happening at all times.

  2. Utilize the day time… After having two kids brandon and I realized that it’s much more of a hassle to have someone watch two kids than one so date “nights” were becoming less and less. Until Brandon had this genius idea (yes, I give him so credit...sometimes) lets do Day Date. So every month one of us is responsible for picking the day of the date and what we will be doing. We both then request PTO that day and have the whole day to ourselves. Let me tell you how exciting this has been. It has been so fun. We have gone on some creative, fun, and inexpensive dates (because hello lunch time, happy hours deals). Its also been fun for us to trade off each month on what kinda of date we are going to plan.

3. Netflix and Chill still counts. Before we introduced day dates. I set up in our shared calendar date night at home on Wednesday night. It was a simple two hours that we knew every week we would connect. We would either have a drink, watch a movie, or just talk. It was really nice to have that standing appointment… something to look forward to when you scrolling down your ugly to do’s and then see date night at 8pm just puts a smile on your face.

4.Look for loopholes and Spontaneous moments…. Parents watching the kids, date night, random day off, day date…. Getting off early happy hour… look for those moments to connect

5. Since I’m in the mood to sharing all my little secrets here is another one. It’s ok to talk about your kids during your date. I mean what better time than alone and in the quiet to discuss the development of your children. Usually after a few minutes were over it and come back to them refreshed and with a better perspective than what we had before. So if you need to talk about your kids….talk about your kids just don’t forget about the man on the other side of the table. He needs some attention to girl!

There is not rule on how many dates you need to have a happy marriage. Dates are just a simple way to connect. I chance to remember how this things got started. You don’t have to go on a date once a week to keep it spicy. You don’t have to get dressed up and go to a fancy dinner to feel connected. All you need is a moment.  A moment to put down your phones, look each others eyes and laugh. That’s it and if your doing that in your sweatpants in bed watching netflix with a pint of ice cream...then you go girl. You got it~

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