• Monica

4 Ways to Go After Your Dreams As A Stay-At-Home Mom

Ok so yesterday on my Instagram I shared the struggles of being a stay at home mom who is trying to build a business and I got a ton of comments from moms who were saying the same thing. 

So here is the scoop 

I have been a stay at home mom for about 7 months but prior to that I worked a full time job. My kid went to daycare and after school and I worked on my side hustle at night and on my days off. For some reason that felt a little bit more structured. Like I knew that this was the time that I dedicated to is and that was it. Of course I complianed about not having enough time and wishign that I had more flexbiblity oh and thinking that if I became a stay at home mom then I would have all of this extra time! Let me just go ahead blow this myth out of the window. I think one of the biggest misconceptions of being a stay at home mom is that you have all of this time. Like you have all of this time to do whatever you want when you want and the kids are just kinda in the background. Let me tell you you that is 1000% false.

Any mom that has been home with their kids knows that they are the dictators of your time especially if you have younger kids. Now if you have older kids I’m sure it looks a little differnt but when my kids are home with me I’m taking care of them. I feeding them, I shuffling them around from place to place, I’m breaking up a million fights, I’m cleaning, Im feeding them, I’m bathing them, I’m doing homework with them, I’m sitting with them, I’m eating with them. I mean the list goes on and on and on.

So this is what an average Monday looks like for me so you can get an idea.

5:30a- Wake up do my morning routine 

6:30am- Get Zanella for the day 

7:00am-9:00- Cleaning up, doing laudnry, getting myself ready, getting audree ready and maybe sneak in a few minutes to get on instagram or finish up a blog post or check my email 

9:00-9:30- drop off audree 

10:00-2:00- Work Time 

2:00-2:30- pick up kids 

2:30-4:30pm- Kids have free time and this is my extra work time 

4:30p-5:00- Tidy up house 

5:00-6:00- Make and eat dinner 

6:00-6:30- Homework time 

6:30-7:30- Clean up and bedtime routine for kids 

7:30-8:00- Bedtime for kids 

8:00-10:00- if I have the energy then its time for me to clock back in and get some work done 

10:00- I usually pass out! 

So yes I have time and I’m lucky that I get to have time with my kids and do this but I can’t lie and say that it isn’t frustrating that I have do it through this little pockets of time. 

It not impossible to make your dreams come true or go after your passions as a stay at home mom but you defintly have to get crafy with your time and be very protective over your time. If this dream and this idea really matters to you then you will make time for it.

I think sometimes I struggle because what I’m doing requires me to be creative and I’m not always the most creative person between the hours of 10a-2p or from 8p-10pm. Sometimes I’m really creative at 5:00pm but thats my family time. 

Give yourself some grace- So one thing that I have been doing that has been helping me with this jumbled schedule is giving myslef some grace around not getting everything done. I’ve been really into trying to upkeep some of the things that drive me crazy like the laundry and the kitchen but other things I kinda just go with the flow. I give them designated days when I touch them. 

For example on Tuesday I clean up downstairs and on Thursdays I clean up upstairs and through out the week if I feel like the bathroom upstairs is getting too messy and I have time then I’ll clean and if not then I will let it be until thursday. 

Write it down- I also huge on post its. A ton of thoughts and ideas pop up in my head throughout the day and althought I’m able to go run and execute those thoughts I will either put a note in my phone or write a post it about that thought and come back to it later. This has helped me because like said I’m not always the most creative person at 10am but I also don’t want to let those creative thoughts just fade away because I’m with my family at 6:30pm. 

Loosen up that schedule- I think the other thing that has helped me is loosening up my reins with the kids. After school has been a huge time block opener for me because I relaized that the kids have been in school all day listening and being on their best behavior I hope and the last thing they probably wanna hear is do this and do that and we are going to go hear and do this. They have been listening to that all day and they are finally home they just wanna chill. They wanna eat but they wanna chill. So I deicided to give them about 1 ½ to 2 hours of free time. I feed them a snack ask how their day was then they go upstairs and play in their room for an hour and then they can come downstairs and have some screen time and then around 4:30 I come back in the picture. But for that 1 1/2 -2 hours that is an additional time that I get to work on my stuff.

So I would suggest looking at your day and is there time when you can just let you kids do their thing. Even if it just 30 mins, that is still another 30 mins you get to do something quick. And also maybe make it a special time for you to get x done. Like you only work on email during time. Or this is the time you engage on instargram or this is your netflix time whatever it is make a point of it. Now I can sit here and say that this time isn't interrupted because it defintley is for sure but its still my time. 

Go at your own pace- Lastly I have come to the conclusion that I just might not move as fast as others. I’ve talked about comparison before and it can be a really joy killer. Like it can just complelty deflated you in so many different ways! One of the ways I use to compare myself to other moms was the moms that I saw were kill it in the blogging, podcast, or instagram world.

The moms that had 3 kids at home, seem to have a great marriage, great life, great house, and built this amazing community and were bringing in some serious dough! Those moms use to make me feel like How the hell are they doing this? How are they able to make this look so easy? I’ll never get there. Its gonna take me a lifetime to get there if I even ever get there. Then something clicked in me and made me realize I was comparing my chapter 2 to their chapter 23.

So there you have it! Wanna listen to the entire episode click on the link above!

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